Please help this kind soul who have always believe deeply in you..

sometimes i dont understand why people tend to drag a problem when they can actually find a solution earlier and spare the sufferings.:(only to give up hope when all the problems kick in.

dreaming of being a child once again..
anw suddenly tot of a song...:)

Advice of the day!

So how could you neglect subsequent cultivation simply because of one moment of awakening? After awakening, you must be constantly on your guard. If deluded thoughts suddenly appear, do not follow after them― reduce them and reduce them again until you reach the unconditioned.²¹ Then and only then will your practice reach completion. This is the practice of herding the ox which all wise advisors in the world have practiced after awakening.

Nevertheless, although you must cultivate further, you have already awakened suddenly to the fact that deluded thoughts are originally void and the mind‐nature is originally pure. Thus you eliminate evil, but you eliminate without actually eliminating anything; you cultivate the wholesome, but you cultivate without really cultivating anything either. This is true cultivation and true elimination. For this reason it is said, "Although one prepares to cultivate the manifold supplementary practices, thoughtlessness is the origin of them all."²²

Horrible Day

OMG insomia until 5am last night+hotmail account got hacked and i am not able to send or receive emails+lots of work to do.FML.

:(

And so the poor boy waited in vain for his loved one emails and messages..missing her so so much. Luckily for him, he managed to keep himself busy with his incessant workload, his friends and his old friend Mr. Basketball. He dreads the night, when he used to call her before bed. sigh, its ONLY been a few days..but these few days seem years :( He made a choice between going clubbing and waiting at home in front of his computer for her emails..the latter he chose.wish you would be back soon...how would I survive exchange??and the following two years?

sick sick sick!

I am starting to dread my life as an intern now...i have learnt most of the stuff i am required to learn..and the best part is my busy supervisor is ALWAYS MIAing..so poor me just have to act busy all the time.argh...plus i have been sick for quite some time but i still refuse to go to the doctor.hahah. Had shao rou fan for lunch...salty to the MAX, omg i swear they soak the shao rou in some sea water.haha. anw i was so bored just now until i went to ask my colleague whether she needs help or not.haha..and so i am doing the company accounts now.DAMN.totally regret my decision..haha 2 more hours..i have the urge to take mc tml again...hai..shall decide later..looking forward to meet baby later!=)

Happy 7 months!!!

gf and I celebrated our 7 months together yest! but poor girlfriend wasnt really enjoying it cos her useless boyfriend was sick and she has to take care of me..omg..poor little thing..but nevertheless we did have some fun here and there especially in the movie!!!( maybe its just me having fun seeing gf getting so freaked out) HAHA.

anyway the day started with me going gym with jonathan in the mornning..omg i swear yest was a bad day. first, we went all the way to bishan gym and only to find it closed. to get to the gym i have to walk like super far from the mrt under the rain!!terrible. we decided to not waste our efforts and take and mrt to yio chu kang gym.HAHA how enthu rite??

i swear i wasnt tt sick be4 i met gf..maybe its the rain bah..i brought gf to bugis for some shopping..and bought a green polo T!!hahah loves it..i just love the bright green colour and design!and its for 28.90 bucks only..quite cheap right?haha..we then realised that there was this jay chou singing competition going on at bugis...i tot the first guy didnt sound like jay chou at all!!too nasal perhaps..but gf said otherwise.hahah..maybe the actions bah..but voice certainly NO.personal opinion.hahah..

After which tragedy struck!!!i had stomach cramps out of a sudden..like damn pain and i dun even know why=(perhaps its the virus i got from my friends when sharing food with them..or maybe its the rain in the morning.but anyway poor girlfriend got so worried for me and even wanted to sell our movie tix to her friend. I was however adamant on watching the movie..hee partly cos i know gf likes to watch horror movie(ironically she will be damn scared afta tt) and i dont want the day with gf to end so soon.haha. and so we made our way to PS. i tot the movie was quite lousy ehh..firstly i think that compared to the previous versions, i tot this was the least scary, except that this one has a lot of chio bus in it.HAHA.dun be jealous k gf=) yah..but gf tot the concept was damn scary...so hum rite..HAHA...but she is always so cute when she is scared..tts y i love watching horror movies with her.ha..

alrite..i am still damn sick and nua..guess i should rest more..kbox nxt sat with engin peeps!!!carn wait for it to come..it has been some time since i i last visited kbox.=)Beyonddd~~!!!!!ohh and happy 7 months again girlfriend!!and years and years and years ahead kae!i know i haven chu pattern for damn long le..well saving up for 1st year kae!!if not no effect.HAH.

i have been so busy these few days..busy with work, gym, meeting my bao bao, insomia..sux...finally i am done with my work and so shall blog a short post be4 baby starts complaining.hahah.

met babygurl for gym yesterday after work, although i was so damn tired from insomia the night before.perhaps i was anxious about my results.hahah.well i have been working so hard this sem..aiming to hit first class honours in order to at least stand a chance to get a scholarship for my masters. My grades were satisfactory, although i didnt manage to achieve my target...but i can only say i tried my best already.hahah..nxt sem must jiayou again!!!=)

i was on time yest when meetiing gf, like so rarely...hahah.this sweet little thing treat me to gym..haha although she is not working and broke. omg. Sweet little thing then went to run on the treadmill until i saw this super duper big guy walking towards her and talking to a guy running beside her.HAH..omg this guy is like a short hulk..and he carn even close his arms when he walk.babygirl says he is disgusting..i bet he confirm pump steriods lor!!!nabei where got people bone so small but muscle so big wan..hahah..his biceps looks like its going to burst any moment, and i was so stressed doing weights beside him. i can imagine him falling to the ground and luffing at the weights i am carrying.haha

me and baby girl then went to yishun cos i wanted to eat my japanese omelet rice!!!yummy!!!but babygirl ate the most disgusting thing on earth.SUSHI.yucks so raw and disgusting.ok i just hate japanese food.personal preference.=)after that we were crazy enough to take mrt all the way back to ang mo kio just for KOI BUBBLETEA.omg..i swear i will grow fat wif gf.=(

its 4 pm now...and i am counting down already.1 more hr to freedom!!!carn wait to leave this office. ever since i started work i rarely have time for myself.hai..and baby is complaining.=(but i love this sweet little thing so much sometimes although i am so tired from work i would still travel down to meet her because i know she will at least put a smile on my face.=)

海闊天空

今天我　寒夜裡看雪飄過
　懷著冷卻了的心窩飄遠方
　風雨裡追趕　霧裡分不清影蹤
　天空海闊你與我　可會變 (誰沒在變)＊

多少次　迎著冷眼與嘲笑
從沒有放棄過心中的理想
一剎那恍惚　若有所失的感覺
不知不覺已變淡　心裡愛 (誰明白我)

原諒我這一生不羈放縱愛自由
　也會怕有一天會跌到 Oh~ No~
　背棄了理想　誰人都可以
　那會怕有一天只你共我

somehow i get very emotional whenever i listen to their songs.i always respected ka kui, who was the lead singer of the band, to be the first songwriter in chinese pop industry to incorporate social issues into his music, although at tt time the market fancied love songs. his talent and creativity in writing those songs and amazing chords is really one of a kind. such a pity he died young.hahah alright just writing this post for fun..not being emo here.anyway i think i made baby girl sad again by not being able to meet her tml=(sorryyyy baby..

slacking in office again...poor supervisor is too busy to give me any work to do..hahah.i don't even remember seeing him sitting down at his desk.he is like always running about or talking to clients on the phone. even the other colleagues say he is superman.haha. anw just played bowling game with baby girl on msn and she lost to me by a point!!hahah but my smart girlfriend thrashed me in reversi once again.=(rarrr shall stop playing reversi with her.hahah.

today i am too lazy to have lunch outside office.haha so my kind and helpful colleagues help me da bao chicken rice from the nearby coffee chop. And as usual the company's air conditioner is not working, and i am smelling like a sweaty pigg.yucks.how am i supposed to meet my friend in a stinky polo tee?but well, i am helping him think of presents to woo a girl he likes, haha so too bad for him.hahah. alright i am missing girlfriend now but she is busy doing housework, she is going to become a huang lian po soon.HAHA.omg feel so sorry for her.but in a way that is good, because she will make a good housewife in future.*hint hint*HAHAH. oh and she is having a date later, with another guy. sobzsobz..sad sad tubby boy..

i am sitting in front of my desk looking around and sipping my hot tea right now while waiting for my supervisor to come..am so glad that i have a busy supervisor who is always late for work.ahaha.anyway, i am thinking of taking mc on thursday in order to have a long long weekend.oh no...evil me..heee..but i do that so that i can watch my baby girl's performance!so whose fault?ahhaa..anyway was coming out of the train just now and i saw this girl wearing a super short dress. I swear just 1 mm above and she would be like showing off her ass.hahah...gross..not as if she very chio.but what really caught my attention was this elderly man, who is old enough to be my grandpa, kept staring at her ass.HAHA.a very apt example of a cheeee kooo pekkk. hahahah.and so i kept looking at him on purpose, and when he realised that, he quickly turned away and rub his eyes and pretend nothing had happened.disgusting lao chee ko.but well..all guys are hornyyyyyy..but surely this grandpa still has his testosterone running in him.HAHA.reminds me of my baby girl wearing the low cut dress in hong kong and those horny guys kept looking at my babygirl.love her so much..but yet she doesnt want to talk to me and play checkers with me.=(

23/05/2010

argh....gf has been bugging me for first post...alrites...since i am still quite awake now..i shall write a short post be4 gg to bed hahah...

I was super productive today!!woke up like 930 am(although i am supposed to wake up earlier to go temple=((((((...) and head straight to the swimming pool without EVEN EATING my breakfast and started my first workout of the day!!!i must admit that i swim like a tortoise now...hahha k lah..not as if i was fast last time..hee..then i went sun tanning!!!and i saw this damn skinny gal like sun tanning beside mee..omg when i said skinny, i really mean super duper skinny until i could see her ribs and bones.i really tink she weigh less than 40 kg omg really damn gross.i still prefer gf's figure, although she grow fatter since hk trip..hahah..i duno but maybe i prefer chubby girls.HAHA.gf ARE U READING THIS!!=)

After getting my GOLDEN BROWN skin and looking good as usual, i went to eat my favourite rou gu mian!!!hahah and the uncle always goes "ni de ling wai yi ban zai na li!!!" whenever gf is not wif me=( see gf, chubby people is always well liked!=)

went to temple in the afternoon to pray for vesak day...hmm..i prayed for my mum's safety too...hopefully buddha will hear my prayers..been quite sad this few days seeing her hair loss cos of her treatment..i noe she is sad too..but i kept telling her its okie...and whenever she is stressed out she will like eat alot of junk food and ice cream...i carn really stop her cos i noe she will not listen to me as usual and i just want her to do what she likes and be happy..hai..

alrite cutting all tt emoing shit..hahah after praying i headed straight to yio chu kang gym for my second round of workout!!!omg i rowed on the rowing machine until i nearly puke can u believe it...hai..but my tummy is still showing..i guess i reallli gotta do some serious abs exercise with cardio=(but well...at least i feel that i am getting fitter..ahaha...i dun wanna be tubby boy anymore...

anw went to meet girlfriend in the evening..afta having dinner ALONE..so saddddddssss rite..=(hahah but i manage to eat my teppanyaki afta all!so not too bad lah..haha..but of cos i wished gf was around!heee...even though the last time i went out wif gf was like yest, but i still miss her a lot today..hai..whats wrong with me..really wish that our hong kong trip would be longer..hahha..i really wish that i can have this 3 months of holiday chillaxing..meet girlfriend n pdaing on the streets.HAHA.

today gf told me she love a lot of things about me but she never tell me what are those things=(hahah but nvm..i love girlfriend for her retardedness, her lameness and deep down in my heart i know she loves me and always do care for me...=) that is why no matter how tired i am...i will always try my best to meet up with my baby girl(with a shag face and tired voice..HAAH)..and i really do hope this r/s would last and make it through my exchange and her further studies..i really hope i will be the one who will give my baby girl her future happiness=)

Leo's first personal blog!(:

-GF